Saturday, June 23, 2012

Today is the best day of your life.

To the people out there who know me, they know one thing. I like to talk. A lot. I like to meet new people and I like to ask questions. Sometimes I ask questions that I shouldn't, sometimes I don’t even have to ask. Last year. I was walking into the Bagel shop in town behind an older woman. She turned around and I think I scared her. She was expecting to see her nurse, who was standing behind me.  Anyway, I let the nurse in front of me and apologized. She laughed and asked if she scared ME. I told her I thought she was the one who was scared.  

So, we both order our stuff and wait. She grabbed a seat and I remained standing. After about 5 minutes she asked me again if she scared me. I laughed and told her no. She then told me that her husband was home from an operation in which they took off his legs. The operation was directly linked to Agent Orange, a chemical used as a weapon in the Viet Nam war. I asked her how he was and she said since the operation he is much better. He is learning to walk with 2 prosthetic legs and is pain-free for the first time in years. I said it was messed up that the government doesn’t take the Agent Orange thing seriously but she said that they do now. This lady was so positive and really made an impact on me. 

This reminded me of my own trial and tribulations. I am slowly but surely going blind due to a botched lasik eye surgery. I had cancer twice in three years. Cancer showed up once in my right kidney and once in my left.  I had surgery in October 2004 for one and they removed a rib and one in February 2007. No rib removal on the last one but I wound up with a hernia with pain that I still deal with on a daily basis. I also had a knee operation in September 2007 to repair and remove some of my meniscus which is the padding that cushions your knee. I am in pain pretty much every day to some extent or another.
My family. Dad, Daughter, Mom, Me, Son, Girlfriend(Son in the oven?)
I don't want sympathy and I won't take it. Don’t feel sorry for me. I am okay. I have other, more personal complications and repercussions to this deadly disease. I got divorced. I lost self-respect. I was living a sedentary lifestyle. I worked, ate, watched TV and gained weight. I have always been heavy. But I had blown up to 351 pounds at my heaviest. I am now seeing a chiropractor, I am walking at least twice a week and exercising with my good friend Brian. I am down to 325 pounds, not much, but it is a start. If my back would stop hurting I would love to get back into it. I can say with no embarassment that great now. My kids are my life. I met a great girl. I am expecting my third kid 11 years after my son was born. I am working towards living my life and being happy. I have family and friends who I love. They support me and sometimes scold me, but they have my best interests at heart. I almost never tell them, but without them I would be dead.

I don’t really know where I am going with this. All I can say is that life is hard. It hands you shit all the time. But, the thing is, we need to keep moving forward. This is whatever that means to you. Life is short but it is also long. Can you conceive of something longer? You are not invincible and neither am I. You will not get hit by a bus and a meteor will not fall out of the sky. You are most likely going to live a long life with many sicknesses and much sadness. Most likely, you will die many years from now, with more than a few regrets. You don’t have to!!! Live your life the way you want to. Always follow your dreams when you are young and healthy. And if you are not healthy, and you can help it, GET UP! Go walk in the park, play with your kids, get a dog. Today is the best day of your life. And it can only get better from here.

But only if you want it to.

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I would be remiss if I didn't tell you that I write, draw and publish comic books. My newest project takes my cancer (And other) experiences and wraps them in a Superhero shell. Please feel free to click the link below and like the Facebook fan page. Also, please keep your eyes open for the Kickstarter campaign(
"Are you not entertained? Are you not entertained? Is this not why you are here?" - Maximus Decimus Meridius from the movie Gladiator(2000)

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